How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
