Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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