Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
