why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
