I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
