put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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