I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
