the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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