he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
