yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
