Don't make out with my wife yet
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Rumble strips road head = magical
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
