He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
