Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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