I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
