A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
