last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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