Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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