My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
