Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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