so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
