Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
In America we eat man semen.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
