Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
