I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
