Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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