Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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