you're like a bully in the Christmas story
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
