they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize