so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
