you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
