why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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