i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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