It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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