I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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