I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
