He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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