Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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