So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
