I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
