And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
