you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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