I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
