i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
