Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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