She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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