3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
last night I used snow as a chaser
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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