I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
