Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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