Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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