Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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