I want to walk on stilts...naked
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
