me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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