Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
