I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
