people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
