can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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