I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
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