While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
