I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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