Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
