"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
