i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize