hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize