my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
