HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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