6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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