Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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