How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize