i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
