Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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