An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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