i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
