Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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