he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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