Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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